the night air is cold against my bare thighs,

I gaze up towards the sky while my hand is trailing along the railing.

It is a clear night.

I close my eyes and feel the smoke fill my lungs;

feel my heartbeats slow a little,

feel the anxiety take a step back, 

I exhale and open my eyes.

 

I can hear the shower running,

can hear him move around -

I want his scent off of me,

want to wash away any traces of him still lingering on my body,

need to scrub his prints off my skin,

but I don’t want to join him.

 

I wrap the blanket tighter around me

the night air is making me sober up,

faster than I want to. 

Maybe I should leave before he comes back

sneak out like a shadow, a phantasm;

lets be honest

we all got what we came here for.