I turned 35
still as lost as I was at 15
still with a heart that won't settle for anyone
still with a longing stronger
than the tides on a full moon

I've learnt how to embrace the lonliness
to wear it like a shroud of protection
to carry it like a shield around my heart

a heart that still belongs to you
that still aches whenever the nights are too long
when the grief resurfaces and takes over

I turned 35
I've lived longer without you
than the time we had together
and yet

my heart still belongs to you

no matter how many times
he calls me his treasure
no matter how many times
he pulls me close in his sleep
no matter how many times
he whispers I love you

I can't blame him for leaving