& I need you to need me & I need you to hold on, to not let go to not leave this world behind. Its a scary place, and I dont think I belong here, I dont think I belong anywhere. Everything is dark & I need you to spin me like a little girl, to hold on to me cause I will try to break free and I will try to leave you behind, cause other people scare me, Im scared of being together, scared of being left alone. I dont think I belong anywhere. I feel wrong, I feel fat, I feel like a paper heart coming unglued. I told you all my secrets & I rely on you, dont tell me whats on your mind, dont tell me that you dont need me dont want me dont feel me. I cant be what ever you want, there was a time I was everything, bright as a sunny day. That girl died, that girl was killed. Drop dead gorgerous, she left life because life wasnt appealing to her. I need you to shine, I need you to stay bright. I love you with all my kliché heart (& I cant imagine my life without you, without love).

You know at the beach, when u dig ur hand into the sand & lift it up, full with sand?
That used to be me.
You know when u squeeze together ur hand and most of the sand falls out, leaving a little behind?
Thats me now. & I know Im not much to love, but can you atleast try to love me? Can you atleast help me to help myself?

I dont know how to get out of this mess, get out of this situation, I dont know a lot. You can fill a fucking room with what I dont know. I wish I had done things different. I wish I could allow myself to do more things, to be less scared of the whole situation. To be less scared of people. Dont you think I wished I was normal? That I could do things "normal" people do without hyperventilate after? Dont you think Id like to walk forward instead of running backwards?

"Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace"