last night
fireworks lit up the sky
celebration of a new year
a new beginning

it always takes me back
to this moment in the past
I guess because it’s something I’m trying to forget?
It’s minutes after midnight,
we’ve done the whole kiss thing
everyone is smiling, excited, drunk

but -
I am in the kitchen alone 
I needed a moment
like I often do,
a glass of champagne has somehow appeared in my hand,
but tonight
tonight I am painfully sober

I put my hand on my stomach 
still flat
no sign of the tiny blueberry sized life yet;
I have known for a few days 
it is not how I imagined my new year to start

but tonight
there is a handsome, blue eyed man
looking at me like I’m all that matters,
tonight doesn’t count
tonight is the end of a year
tonight is a new beginning

blueberry sized decisions can wait 


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