it’s snowing -

& my mind is occupied with memories of you

I don’t even pretend like it’s healthy anymore

I shoved the past - 

and all the hurt and anxiety and tears and sadness,

that came with it

far far far away and never looked back 

it took a few years

but now it’s back -

without even as much as a knock -

the past just confidently strode in and took over

& oh my

the things I didn’t even remember 

the things I successfully forgot for years

now consuming my every thought 

my every dream 

I wake up with your name on my lips,

can still feel the lingering touch

of your hands on my skin

it was just a dream -

I keep telling myself,

it’s not just dreams though:

it’s memories

my mind a broken player;

stuck on repeat repeat 

repeat 

it’s as if the past is a prison

and I’m sentenced for life