106;
Today is your birthday
and by now I don't think it matters
how long you've been gone
my brain always find ways to remind me
I've come to terms with you being gone
I've come to terms with a lot of things
I know by now
I probably found all of your notes;
it's been years since I unfolded one
since I smiled while reading
your handwriting was always atrocious
most days I still think that my heart
should have stopped when yours did -
I haven't lived in a long time
I still dream of you
usually in the mornings
the kind of confusing dreams
where my brain doesn't register
that you're not next to me
while waking up
I still reach for you
muscles all soft from sleep
brain foggy
it's like I can still feel your warmth
your fingers on my skin
reality is always such a disappointment
anyways, I digress;
happy birthday love
I miss you more than words can say
