I don't hate him

- maybe I should

I mean I've certainly tried,

but maybe he's not worthy of hate

maybe feeling indifferent is a worse punishment

for what he did,

for what he put me through.

 

I knew about the other girl,

it wasn't necessarily obvious

but if you're with someone long enough

you'll notice small changes: 

a pillow case that doesn't smell like it used to anymore,

some blonde hairs in his brush,

a new, unknown passcode on his phone. 

 

Could maybe be coincidences,

but come on, we all know better than that. 

Sometimes the truth just isn't convienent at the moment, 

sometimes living in denial is a way of survival,

sometimes you can choose when he gets to break your heart. 

 

So no, I don't hate him, 

maybe it'd be easier for me if I did

but either way - it wouldn't make a difference for him.