056;


sometimes I feel so lost
so so sooooo lost;
like I took the wrong turn years ago
and I can't figure out where that was or when it happened
I'm just staying on the road, 
keep going cause that's what people tell me to do
keep going
keep breathing
 
(beat, little heart, keep beating)
 
Is this what it's meant to be like,
being an adult? 
I'm barely holding it together:
but if you do enough things,
if you don't stop and think:
it almost works out
 
(beat, little heart, please keep beating)
 
 don't give up on me
 
(beat, little heart, please please keep beating)
 
please please don't give up on me
 
 
please
 
I'm doing what I can

055;


 
I don't hate him
- maybe I should
I mean I've certainly tried,
but maybe he's not worthy of hate
maybe feeling indifferent is a worse punishment
for what he did,
for what he put me through.
 
I knew about the other girl,
it wasn't necessarily obvious
but if you're with someone long enough
you'll notice small changes: 
a pillow case that doesn't smell like it used to anymore,
some blonde hairs in his brush,
a new, unknown passcode on his phone. 
 
Could maybe be coincidences,
but come on, we all know better than that. 
Sometimes the truth just isn't convienent at the moment, 
sometimes living in denial is a way of survival,
sometimes you can choose when he gets to break your heart. 
 
So no, I don't hate him, 
maybe it'd be easier for me if I did
but either way - it wouldn't make a difference for him.